astrocricket

Thinspiration

2009-12-12T18:24:48Z

According to the media, Kate Moss came up with the saying "Nothing tastes as good as [being] skinny feels", and then pro-anorexia websites "immediately" starting quoting it, which is a sign of how much influence she has.

Codswallop. The media (and the johnny-come-lately blogosphere) has this story precisely backwards. That phrase has been a staple of pro-ana websites for years, and Kate Moss was just repeating it. The pro-ana community has a number of these witty epigrams, including:

"Sacrifice means giving up something good for something better."
"Inner beauty is for fat people."
"Of course it's hard. If it was easy then everyone would do it."

My favorite pro-ana website:

http://community.livejournal.com/annacomic/

Fast food

2009-08-26T06:34:01Z

Boy, changing my diet sure has been easy. When I was working downtown, I ate out for lunch 5 days a week, and about 3 of those meals would be from fast food restaurants. But in the last six months, I've probably eaten fast food fewer than ten times. It doesn't hurt that making proper meals at home is a lot cheaper than restaurant food.

Hypothetical Situation

2009-08-15T11:45:24Z

Suppose you saw an elderly man, shabbily dressed, wandering the streets in the pouring rain. He doesn't seem to have any destination or business. If you were a police officer, wouldn't you go over and say hello? Ask him if he's lost, or cold, or needs help? When he claims he's Bob Dylan, but doesn't have any ID, you might reasonably suspect that he's mentally ill. So, you give him a ride back to where he says he's staying, and when someone verifies that he is, in fact, the real Bob Dylan, everybody laughs at you. Why?

Should a 24-year-old cop be expected to know what a musician looks like, 45 years after he peaked? I mean, I've heard of Bob Dylan, but I have no idea what he looked like in the 60s, let alone today. And frankly, he's not that big anymore. At 29, I only recognize two songs from his greatest-hits album, and if they hadn't been on the Forrest Gump soundtrack, it would probably be zero. From the same era, I recognize about half a dozen songs by the Rolling Stones, a handful by Elvis, a dozen by Simon and Garfunkel, and at least 30 or 40 by the Beatles. You can blame society for not popularizing songs that couldn't be easily commercialized, but you can't blame young people for not knowing him now.

He wasn't arrested, tased, or otherwise hurt, so I don't see what the big deal is.

Melts in your hand, your mouth... yeah, pretty much anywhere.

2009-08-04T02:04:02Z

So what's the deal with Smarties?

Here's the thing: Smarties were invented in England in the year 1882, and became a popular candy. In 1954, M&Ms (an American brand) started using the slogan "melts in your mouth, not in your hand". Skittles and Reese's Pieces didn't exist in 1954, so a slogan like that is pretty obviously a glove-slap in the face of M&Ms main competitor, Smarties. Since then, Smarties have had 55 years to reform, and still they refuse. Like the big three automakers, they bury their heads in the sand and believe that these uppity foreigners are engaged in folly, that candy that doesn't stain your hands like a kindergartener's is just a fad, and that customers will eventually return to their crappy traditional product.

Get with it, Smarties. You're making Edsels in a Prius world.

astrocricket @ 2009-03-19T14:36:00

2009-03-19T22:06:09Z

Riddle me this:

Last month I had my teeth cleaned, which took about 25 minutes of scaling with a hygienist who has a four-year degree. Cost: $121.

Today I had to get a filling replaced (it popped out while I was flossing). That took about 70 minutes with a dentist, who has at least a 6-year degree, plus a dental assistant, who has at least a one-year diploma. Cost: $119.

What kind of sense does that make?

"Respect the Office"

2009-01-26T18:54:34Z

You would often hear Americans say that if people didn't like George Bush, they should at least respect the office of the president. You can hear people saying the same thing about Prince Charles - he's a bit of a goofball, but you should respect the tradition or ... something. How about this one:

"If you don't respect the tyrant, you should at least respect the institution of tyranny! Surely we can agree on that."

Back to the Future

2009-01-08T00:49:43Z

Over the holidays, I watched the Back to the Future movies, and it's interesting to see how the predictions they made about the year 2015 are turning out:

Things that haven't happened yet, and very likely won't happen in the next 6 years:

Hoverboards
Flying cars
Hovering billboards
Minaturized fusion technology
Talking computer interface (the can understand natural language)
Holographic movies
Outdoor, moving 3D displays
Automatic shoelaces, self-drying clothes, etc.
Electronic brain implants
Automatic extendable baseball bats
Rehydratable pizzas (although frozen pizzas have improved a lot)
EZ-Sleep sleep-inducing gadget
Weather manipulation, or perfect weather prediction
Body rejuvenation (including organ replacement)
Athletes cheating with bionic limbs
Legal steroids
A lawyer-free legal system

Things that haven't happened yet, but might plausibly happen:

Dust-repellant paper (but books with dust jackets won't be antiques yet)
Biometric (thumbprint) identification, with a national police database.
Digital binoculars
Videophones
Runaway inflation

Things that did happen or are happening:

Less pollution than 1985
Cosmetic surgery is commonplace
Retro/nostalgic businesses featuring the 1980s.
Lots of glass architecture

Things that will never happen, because they're already obsolete:

Fax machines everywhere
Queen Diana
Disappointing 18th sequel to "Jaws" ("lacks bite", say critics)

Three words I can never use

2009-01-06T18:02:18Z

There are a few words that I will never use, because everybody thinks they mean the opposite of what they actually do. Here are three:

Inflammable - Unlike inactive, injustice, invisible, and a thousand more words, inflammable doesn't mean the opposite of flammable. They both pretty much mean combustible.

Peruse - a lot of people think that perusing something means glancing over it, skimming it, or reading it in a leisurely way. It actually means to study something very carefully.

Drone - People talk about "cubicle drones", "mindless drones", and "Borg drones", as if these people were hard-working slaves, devoting all their effort to someone else's benefit. Actually, drones in a real bee hive, wasp nest, or ant colony have the cushiest job in the place - they're the only males, and they do nothing but have sex with the queen. Drones don't gather nectar, make honey, defend the nest, or sting anybody - female or neuter workers do that.

Calendar of Events

2008-06-26T22:27:54Z

Here's a list of a few things I'm looking forward to:

July 1, Canada Day
July 4-13, Street Performer's Festival
July 28, White Knight 2 rollout (Mojave)
July 29 - Aug 6, SpaceX launch
Aug 1-2, Rocket Racing League exhibition
Aug 8-24, ignore Olympics
Aug 11-15 SIGGRAPH conference
Aug 29-Sept1, skip Symphony under the Sky
Sept 8, new episodes of Terminator
Sept 16, new episodes of House (not really looking forward to that so much)
Sept 22, new episodes of Heroes (same as House)
Sept 29, new episodes of Chuck
Oct 24-25, XPrize cup, Lunar Lander Challenge
Oct 31, complete exercise goals (100 crunches/50 pushups in a row, plus more)
Nov 4, Republicans steal election
Early 2009, new episodes of Battlestar Galactica
Aug 2015, Kent Hovind released, not rehabilitated at all

Are there any important events, concerts, etc. that you think should be added to my list?

Burger Size

2008-05-21T00:34:50Z

These days, the smallest regular burger you're likely to find at most places (not off the kid's menu or value menu) is a quarter-pound. That means that the meat patty, before cooking, weighed 16/4 = 4 ounces. Last week I mentioned to Shawn that the size of McDonald's original burger was much smaller - about the size of Wendy's Junior hamburger. He doubted me, so here's the info:

"Small" burgers:
McDonald's Original Burger: 1.6 ounces, 333 calories (from 1955)
Wendy's Junior Cheesburger: 1.7 ounces, 320 calories (from 2008)

Standard fare:
McDonald's 1/4 lb w/cheese: 4.0 ounces, 510 calories (Royale avec fromage)
Burger King Whopper: 4.0 ounces, 670 calories
Harvey's Angus Burger: 4.0 ounces, 530 calories

Signature Sandwiches:
Wendy's Baconator: 8.0 ounces, 840 calories
A&W Papa Burger: 8.0 ounces, 720 calories
Carl's Jr. 6 dollar Burger: 5.5 ounces, 1010 calories (actual price: $3.95)

Pigwiches:
BK Triple Whopper: 12 ounces, 1230 calories
Wendy's Triple Burger: 12 ounces, 980 calories
Hardee's Monster Thickbgr: 11 ounces, 1420 calories (108 grams of fat, defibrillator on standby)

My favourite items are the Wendy's Jr. Bacon-Cheeseburger (280 calories w/o mayonnaise) or the Grilled Chicken Go Wrap (210 calories w/o honey-mustard sauce).

Study: Telus Bill Too High

2008-02-28T23:04:18Z

EDMONTON - A new study has discovered that city residents are paying too much for basic land-line phone service. The investigation involved a survey of one man's latest bill, which ran to the princely sum of $28.17, despite not including call forwarding, call display, voice mail, or even a long distance package. "If I tried to call Calgary, it wouldn't connect." said Oliver resident Astro Cricket. "My service is cut to the bone, so it's impossible to pay less. But 28 bucks is still freaking outrageous".

In these financially uncertain times, there are many opportunities competing for Cricket's $28.17. "I could almost get basic cable for that much, if I had a TV. Or, if this hadn't been a leap year, I could have played a game of Killer Instinct every day this month." Other wistful ideas for using the money include buying six Strawberry Sunshine smoothies, despite being too stingy to actually buy the luxury drinks. "Sure, if I didn't have to give that $28 to Telus, I'd just throw it on the pile, but it's the principle of the thing."

astrocricket @ 2008-02-11T17:03:00

2008-02-12T00:28:16Z

"What's that you say?"
"I said the pop machine's really loud!"
"The cop latrine's getting plowed?"
"I SAID THE POP MACHINE'S REALLY LOUD!"
"Sorry, I can't hear you over the pop machine."

I bet pop machines waste a lot of energy. I just recently came to this conclusion because there's a TV in our breakroom at work, but it's nearly impossible to hear because it's directly above a pop machine, and that thing makes more noise than any refrigerator I've ever seen. Whereas a normal fridge or freezer has a gentle hum that's easy to ignore, all the pop machines that I've been noticing recently make about as much noise as an idling sports car.

That suggests to me that they must be pretty inefficient. And why not? The vendor that owns the machine typically doesn't pay for the power - it's plugged into whatever wall outlet is nearby, which typically means the customer is paying for the power, rather than the seller. So the customer wants to save power but can't, and the seller can save power but doesn't want to.

Of course I'm ignoring the waste of refrigerating something that doesn't spoil, since I think it's allowable to spend energy just to make something taste better. I just don't want us to waste more than we have to.

My opinion: Torchwood is too gay

2008-01-31T23:27:35Z

Torchwood is a Doctor Who spinoff, based on the premise of a government agency that fights aliens in the present day. This so-called "Doctor Who for Adults" is based in Wales, so if you consider Doctor Who to be too London-centric, Torchwood is even more implausibly Cardiff-centric. But that's not the point, nor is the weak character development, lame scripts, overacting, or overabunance of violence.

The main problem I have with Torchwood is that it's too gay. Created by gay producer Russell T. Davies and starring gay actor John Barrowman (playing the the omnisexual Captain Jack, a con-man from the future, where apparently "monosexuality" is extinct), every single episode explores gay themes. Among the regular cast, there is no character who hasn't had a same-sex experience. Even guest characters rarely get away without some same-sex action. The idea of a future in which everyone is bisexual doesn't bother me, but the overwhelming fixation on these themes does.

The show reminds me of that animated classic, Captain Planet. Theoretically, a show involving elemental superpowers, flamboyant villians, and teenage drama has a lot of potential. Voices by LeVar Burton and Whoopi Goldberg should just sweeten the deal. Unfortunately, every episode is propaganda telling kids to recycle, avoid polluting, and so on. That's a fine message, but you can't really enjoy the show if every event is a "teaching moment". I see Torchwood as exactly the same sort of Public Service Announcement - however edifying, any story or character development is secondary compared to The Message.

Edit: last night's episode wasn't too gay - just one session of man-on-man frenching - but the rest of the story didn't gain much from the restraint. There's an overplayed heroic sacrifice, and some other stuff happens, but how the writer thought that would qualify as a story is beyond me.

Would you like a little cheese with that whine?

2007-12-21T23:58:58Z

Man alive, what a terrible month. I nearly killed myself trying to get my main project out the door before Christmas, and I didn't even succeed. The 12-hour days, noisy co-workers, and my new 4-plex "cubicle" just about crushed this camel's back. According to my calendar, I only used 3 vacation days so far this year. Fortunately this year is over, but there's more of the same to come in January.

Christmas will be no holiday either - I have about 15 chores to do before the 25th, none of which are easy.

I would say that almost the only good thing to happen to me this month is Wendy's new Grilled Chicken Wrap - 250 calories (210 without the yucky honey mustard) and quite a succulent meal.

Futurama: Bender's Big Snore

2007-12-04T23:42:51Z

Holy smokes, this latest entry in the Futurama series was awful - nearly unwatchable. While watching, I kept checking to see how long the movie was, in the hopes that it would be over soon.

Bad parts include:
- The beginning, when all the characters introduce themselves as if we've never met them before.
- The moment 3 minutes after we meet Lars, when we figure out his obvious secret, but realize that the "reveal" of this "secret" won't happen until the end of the movie.
- The unfunny and boring exposition needed to make the convoluted time-travel story work out.
- The over-long cameos by characters like Al Gore and Santa Claus.
- The fact that every character had to get a segment in the movie, even if they didn't drive the plot (like Hermes' contribution).
- The internet spam/nigerian scammer plot device. Hey, 1999 called, they want their try-hard talking point back, even though it wasn't funny then.
- The foreshadowing, which is plainer than a Quaker's studio apartment.
- The badmouthing of Fox executives, which sacrificed humor for the sake of revenge.

We've seen this problem before, whenever an episodic show does something unusual (like the series finale, or a movie, or a special episode produced by different people). They think they have to get every character in, do character development just for the sake of being different from the episodes (thank you very much, Brent Spiner), wrap up loose ends whether the solution makes sense or not, and get some celebrity star power in to attract a large audience (even though the audience is the people who used to watch the episodes). Also, while their demands are higher, their capabilities are lower. The project is so important that they don't want to take risks, even though all the best episodes were the result of big risks. They also may have a different director or producer, and can afford more expensive effects which don't improve the storytelling. Did all that fancy shading and 3D work in The Simpsons Movie make it funnier?

I've seen some wall-to-wall borefests in my day, but this anesthetic sleep-in outbores them all.

Shaka, when the walls fell.

2007-11-26T20:55:40Z

There are some cliches I love, because they're such a fast way of expressing exactly what you mean.

One of my favourites is "sour grapes", i.e. convincing yourself that something you can't have is actually undesirable, so you wouldn't want it even if you could get it.

Does anyone know if the opposite idea has a name? I'm talking about a situation where you're committed to something, and you convince yourself that you're better off than you actually are. Like, if you bought a bad car, and because you're stuck with it now, you delude yourself into thinking it's a good car, rather than admit you made a bad decision.

Glowstick at 365+ days

2007-10-09T17:01:32Z

Last October I bought a couple of glowsticks from the halloween supplies at Save-On-Foods (2 for a dollar), bent them to start them glowing, and played with them for a while. After I got bored I chucked them in the freezer to slow down the reaction rate and save them for later.

I thought that keeping them cool when I wasn't using them would keep them fresh, but I had no idea that a product with a usual lifespan of about a day could last more than a year in the freezer. When I warmed them up last night, they were glowing so dimly that I had to turn off the lights and let my eyes adjust to see them, but they were still glowing. I bet that if I didn't have a self-defrosting freezer that warms up periodically, they would last even longer.

My first-ever banning!

2007-10-02T16:05:34Z

I've been on the Internet for about 12 years, and I've been posting to forums for maybe 5 years, but I've never been banned from a site before. Yesterday, I was banned from Feministing.com after only posting about 5 comments. It wasn't that I said anything particularly outrageous, but I was accused of being a sock puppet.

Funny story: I had used "Ashley" as my screen name, but I had signed up using one my throw-away spam-collecting e-mail addresses, which used the name "Steve". So, I got banned because, by using my real name, I was apparently impersonating a woman!

Writer's Block: The Nose Knows

2007-09-12T23:35:25Z

What is your favorite smell? What does it remind you of?

View 282 Answers

Creosote. It reminds me of pilings at the marina and railroad ties. Also dill, vanilla, and matches.

Why We Fight

2007-09-01T09:00:35Z

Why We Fight:
Apparently, the answer is "profiteering".

http://www.alternet.org/waroniraq/60950?page=1

astrocricket @ 2007-08-07T11:00:00

2007-08-07T17:03:49Z

Shawn's been talking about this idea for a long time, so I think he'll like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkJwcR21VLk

Prosperity vs. Power

2007-07-30T17:29:53Z

On Saturday I was enjoying cherries the size of kumquats and was pondering: is my life better than Louis XVI's? In the culinary sense I think that it probably is, but it got me to thinking - what kind of person would gladly change places with the absolute monarch of all France? Keeping in mind that the King probably didn't have a flush toilet or syphilis medication, would you change places with him? I have my own ideas about what might make someone want to swap, but I want to hear your ideas. What about swapping with a ruler in an even more primitive situation, like Julius Caesar or Cleopatra?

Deathly Hallows review (no spoilers)

2007-07-23T20:30:47Z

I thought that the 7th book was okay, but it could have been much better.

I have no complaints about The Hermione Granger show, also starring Harry Potter, although I can see why other people might not like her having such a large role. She's my favourite character, because she's a swot like me, and because I think she's portrayed the most competently in the movies (child actors are kind of hit-and-miss, but they found a decent actress for Hermione).

I'm no fan of Ron, but I had hoped that he would finally shine in this book, and come into his own. Instead, we see Hermione carrying about 55% of the load, Harry doing about 40% (although he's still The Indispensable Man, whereas the others are not really essential) and Ron doing maybe 5%. The imbalance of it sticks in my craw, not least because I can't understand what Harry and Hermione see in Ron.

I would have liked to see them doing some training or practice in this book, the way they did in Dumbledore's Army, before the climax, but after several months of questing, even when they had a lot of spare time to practice, Harry and Ron were still relying on Hermione to teleport them.

There were a few deus ex machinas that bothered me. The events in Tottenham Court Road were explained by the Taboo several chapters later, in a totally unpredictable, ad-hoc way (and saying "You-Know-Who" felt like regressing 7 years, for no good reason). Also, the legitimate owner of the Elder Wand seemed convoluted and confusing to me - not only does the rule seem arbitrary, but it seems unlikely that Harry could have figured it out. (BTW, "Deathstick" is an awesome nickname for the wand).

"I open at the close" seemed too twee, too convenient to me. It's hard to imagine a legitimate magical reason for something to wait until the climax of a book.

I really would have liked to see more of Snape. After book 6, all the speculation was about whether he was good or bad, what he might do to redeem himself, and so on. It was even more fascinating than Harry's story, which was, after all, fairly predictable. His tiny role, therefore, was seriously disappointing. Other let-downs after a big build-up included Wormtail's life debt, and Harry's blood in Voldemort's veins. After so much speculation, they deserved more than a paragraph.

Someone calling someone else a "bitch" seemed meaty and authentic, although after Ron nearly called Ginny a slut in book 6, it lost some it's impact as rare profanity.

My favourite element in the other books is when Harry experiences altered conciousness - the Imperius curse, the luck potion, his kissing scenes, and so on. The writing style suddenly changes and becomes more humourous; it's like finding a gold bar in a pot of warm tapioca. So, I would have liked to see a scene like that in the seventh book.

Most of the mysteries, like the identity of R.A.B., Mundungus' theft of the locket, the nature of the link between Harry and Voldemort, and Snape's feelings, were correctly predicted by the internet community after book 6, although being right wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be.

The many deaths couldn't be properly mourned, I think, because after someone died, the trio had to keep on moving, without a break to contemplate what had happened. That's probably very realistic, but it lacks dramatic impact. Along those same lines, I would have liked Harry to become more a folk hero or a legend, but JKR took the more realistic and more boring path.

Some of the tone - the author's voice - has changed over 10 years of publishing. Did you notice how the Anglo-saxon "Put-Outer" in book 1 became the Latinized "Deluminator" in book 7? There were a bunch of neat ideas introduced over the years that didn't work out, so there's inconvenient band-aids to save the plot, like the 5 exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration.

One thing that I would have liked to have seen, that all seven books lack, is some more powerful or poetic writing. I'm a big fan of the end-of-chapter zinger, simple sentences after big revelations (on the assumption that the reader is floored, and a complex sentence would break the spell), and other in-your-face techniques. I guess it's a matter of taste, but I think the reader should be left with some pithy statements that are memorable or quotable. I know this can be overdone, but JKR is probably the only author I've read who avoids the temptation so thoroughly. The grafittied monument in Godric's Hollow was a nice touch, though.

astrocricket @ 2007-07-10T15:28:00

2007-07-10T21:34:28Z

I came across this today:

http://thetyee.ca/Views/2007/07/05/NoFares1/

It's a proposal to let people ride public transportation in Vancouver for free. I think the idea is great; if Edmonton put a fraction of its Anthony Henday Drive budget into making buses and the LRT free, they could reduce pollution, reduce urban sprawl, increase civic participation, and generally make things awesome. It's hard to imagine happening in Alberta, but if it did, Edmonton would probably be where it would start.

astrocricket @ 2007-07-04T10:08:00

2007-07-04T16:23:46Z

I found a neat tool that "rates" blogs, but just like the real MPAA rating system for movies, I don't think this system works properly.

According to the system, my blog is rated "G", and contains two instances of the word "sex". Here are some other ratings:

zeroswitch: PG, "hell" x2, "torture".
redlillia: R, "shit" x2, "bitch".
cyberghoul: G, "fuckin". (How does the F-bomb rate a G?)
midnyteabbadon: G, no bad words were found!
cannibaloney: PG, "orgasm"

http://mingle2.com/blog-rating